Grand Theft Auto

Remember that van that my MIA neighbor's "friends" left stuck in my lawn? We talked to one of the delinquents - asked them to remove the van or have my neighbor call me - but to no avail. Then we talked to police  - nice officer Kellogg said since it's not a criminal matter, it's my own problem. We then called the towing company but they said they wouldn't touch someone's abandoned van without a police order. So, after two weeks of failed diplomacy, we took the matter in our hands. With an Internet page in one hand and a power drill in another, the lock on the van was compromised ("laparoscopically", via the cheap plastic cover of the door handle - shame on you, General Motors) and the door was open. Unfortunately, it didn't help much because the transmission was still locked. But at that moment, serendipitously, like in a Hollywood movie, the Marines had arrived. The Marines took form of my other neighbor driving his very own back-hoe-bulldozer. Without much doubt, we hooked the back of the van with the bulldozer knife and pushed it off my property. We entertained the evil idea of pushing the van all the way to the street (if it is on the public property, police takes it from there), but decided that we've done enough breaking&entering for the day.